Electric_dreams: [ unheimlich re:entrance ]

Sunday, October 08, 2006

[ unheimlich re:entrance ]


You know that old comic book story where our Everyman hero and blue-coated hothead duck – Who walks around pages stark raving naked, as it happens (but not that that concerns our simple telltale story, let us proceed auntie X!)- Um, yes where our brave little hero goes roaming the land, exploring vast unmapped countryside, discovering new and unseen pleasures of the most splendid kind- Anyway- What concerns our wee story is the brief (but fatal) encounter mr. D has with a certain peasant town named Eggville, a place where the men are real manly men, living off the land, planting plowing sowing seeds and roasting corn while lickle children sing and dance around the hayball farmhouse- All while pious wimminfolk sit silently humming on the porch in their ol’ granma rocking chairs, knitting socks for the little’uns and dispersing eternal wisdom in the form of riddles folksongs stories-

Yes, a true secure haven of honest workmanship and old-fashioned stability, until our unfortunate duck jinxman enters the scene, that is- I can assure you most honourable readers, it is not a pretty sight to witness the most frightful disaster which does (yes, sadly) unfold next, so let’s cut to the chase and spool over the worst bits with fast-forward remote button play-

I never figured out quite how the whole ghastly scenario did unfold to such a devastating effect, nor do I remember (please bear with me and see that this mind is a ramshackle, brittle little thing that more often than not decides to exclude even the most crucial facts and plot climax endings, always when it’s needed the most, such a malfunctioning and kaput a device should be banned from existence in every well-furnished and respectable skull, yet isn’t it always so that what you can’t choose, instead chooses you? They tell me that, then shrug and say “you should’ve thought twice before you were born, sad litte thing, it’s too late to turn back now, you know”- Yes, isn’t it so that your beloved turd brain always lets you down when you need it to think a nice thought? But where were we. Oh, yes-)

Poor Eggville. What happens, is this: Mr. Duck, in a rather bad turn of fate, happens to wreck a mountain-huge container building containing the city’s entire egg warehouse, and the unlucky villagers flee with hellish screams as their beloved village is flooded with eggs...It happily follows that the crafty dear townsmen later return to their homestead and re-build it under the name “Omelette”, but this our heroic duckman is not there to see, he fled over the hills when the first glistening eggshell started to crackle and spurt. THE (BITTER) END

29 Comments:

Blogger Molly Bloom said...

I'm so glad that you have come back.

'All while pious wimminfolk sit silently humming on the porch in their ol’ granma rocking chairs, knitting socks for the little’uns and dispersing eternal wisdom in the form of riddles folksongs stories-'

Brilliant! I wonder if we all pass down the 'eternal wisdoms' through our words. I love the narrative voice that shines through this. A mischievous voice that peeps through.

9:55 pm  
Blogger doppelganger said...

Damn... i had it all figured out as well... this was gonna be the only blog on the web that was running backwards - slowly deleting itself post by post... gradually unravelling like onion skin or russian doll to the essentials of that one last (first?) post(i've checked): 'NO MANIFESTOS, NO PHILOSOPHIES'. Then we would all greet each other with an ironic grin before the whole thing disappeared in a puff of smoke...........

10:27 pm  
Blogger doppelganger said...

not that it isn't good to see ya back though.....

;-)

10:28 pm  
Blogger the X said...

he he. it moves back and forth in rather awkward spirals, i know- but every time i banish a post, i later change my mind and take it back...
so the blog flows and ebbs like the tide...it's kind of like a very unpredictable ocean.

(as concerns the disastrous fate of Eggville: it's like there's some sort of moral message hidden in there somewhere: "don't get too reactionary in your ways, or they'll shower you with eggs...")

i've missed you guys too, 'twill be a while before i get a regular internet connection, though...in the meanwhile, i'll see you in tiny bursts as it were, in-between...

5:37 pm  
Blogger Molly Bloom said...

Come and sit with me and use my computer. It's sad without you. Your comments on Dopp's blog were brilliant re the spirals.

10:45 pm  
Blogger Helen said...

Your mind revolving around it and pulling the tide in and out like the solemn moon.
I must remember, when FINALLY I send you some things (I am working on it!) to include 'Egg meat' by Ivor Cutler.
xes to Xes!
H

5:58 am  
Blogger the X said...

p-please do, sounds intriguing...
don't worry,' i'm still working on that mixtape (two years and counting!), so i couldn't *possibly* scorn you for delaying it a mere month or so...he he.

molly, yeah on the other hand i'm having a very sad/boring time *without* you lot, you know...mais, as always, "i'll be back!" (sans teutonic action hero accent)

"b-bacon and eggssss..." i guess this is where i'm supposed to post up even *more* inane jokes about moist little eggs, oh the yolks and how they slowly glitter and slide apart, but that'd be stupid and i refuse to play that game so, shame on you!
(directed at noone in particular, just thought to make clear i don't steer my mind in this direction ALL THE TIME, every day...like)

we are the music makers, and the dreamers of dreams...
keep dreaming, my little friendssss...clip clop

9:54 pm  
Blogger the X said...

BTW i'm glad you lot care, but to be honest i don't think anyone else would grieve very much if this blog went away...these writings are totally unrelated to anything else in the world at the moment-
just lots of whinging about what's going on inside my own head (which isn't all that amusing, as you know by now)
but at least it saves me money for therapy...

4:19 pm  
Blogger I am not Kek-w said...

"...these writings are totally unrelated to anything else in the world at the moment"

Good!

The idea of a blog that unwrites itself is extremely intriguing! But, yeah, it's too quiet when yr not around...

Sorry I haven't emailed ya; been extremely busy....will try'n remedy that asap

6:00 pm  
Blogger Molly Bloom said...

Part 2

Nancy looked very closely at the pocket of air. The pocket of air was really tired and old. It was filled with tiny stretches of gasp. In one tiny corner, there was a glint of something. Something truly special. It was a tiny, tiny gem. Nancy's tiny fingers strained to capture it on the tip of her tiny finger. She let out a gasp of joy.

Now go to part 3.

3:40 pm  
Blogger the X said...

...blimey, even *more* surrealist-expressionist memes!
i'm glad enthusiasm is still alive and kicking...erm, i mean *fondling*...hirr hirr

"It was filled with tiny stretches of gasp"
...careful now, with your suggestive paragraphs, you don't want to get me started on the annual (and never-ending/wildly incoherent) "erotomaniac" rant, or the rivers will never stop swelling and flowing around these banks...etc

(as you can see, certain unfulfilled urges have got me unusually lust-fixated this week...i do apologise)

8:49 pm  
Blogger Molly Bloom said...

Oooh I say X. You need to take a few deep breaths.

On second thoughts...just let it all out mateyxxx

Please don't say that no-one would grieve if you weren't here. Of course we would! I would be like a Greyfriars bloggy and sit here all night long and when they kicked me out, I'd run in through the railings. Well...I'd probably get stuck, the size of my back-side...but you know...I'd try my very best to squeeze through. xxxx

9:12 pm  
Blogger the X said...

...hehe.

...ahem. *cough*

*ANYWAY*... (where were we?)

7:02 pm  
Blogger Molly Bloom said...

I think you were talking about moist little eggs.

4:32 pm  
Blogger the X said...

Oh dear...lol

what *have* i started? *cough*

let's not even go there...hurry, let's get back to those lofty abstractions!

e = mc2...etc.

5:25 pm  
Blogger Molly Bloom said...

Even Mathematical probabilities and psychobendyrulers can come back to the word which dare not speak its name in the end.

E=E=E=E=K!

8:59 pm  
Blogger the X said...

well that was a nice little sentence-
which seems to wrap itself up, like a telescope (or the midgard serpent),
chasing its own tail, forever going round round round and round, circular breathing, wheel of life...etc. wibble wobble babble

badoum badoum badoum...swoosh
ommm...swishhhh

(BTW a little bird whispered in my ear that even mr. Einstein couldn't spell his name properly when pissed)

6:22 pm  
Blogger Molly Bloom said...

I reckon Mathematical improbabilities could be solved on your site X. Even ones that involve the strange world of smilies (arrrgh):

:)=**:&)))))))))(double chin)^^^^^:

Infinite possibilities.

9:07 pm  
Blogger Molly Bloom said...

Yeah, that Battleship Potemkin was a brilliant film.

Oh, you said Einstein!! Sorry!

Workers of the world unite!

9:08 pm  
Blogger the X said...

hehe, we've gone so beyond meta now that even i don't have a clue what we're talking about!?!?

hum...

9:32 pm  
Blogger Molly Bloom said...

Yes...sorry, I was being a silly. But...don't you just love conversations like that anyway?

I'd like to trace Mathematical elements in the bones of dead elephants. Find quadratic equations in tusky holes.

Right, what would you like to do with Maths?

9:54 pm  
Blogger Molly Bloom said...

Or we could always go back to your yolk substance.

9:55 pm  
Blogger the X said...

...badoom-TISH! a-ha, i've got it now!

drunk einstein -> unable to spell his name -> eiSenstein -> potemkin -> = joke!

sorry to be so thick...lol

maths? hmm, sorry i flunked in that subject two years in a row (but the last time only because i'd said nasty words about the teacher being "incompetent" at the exact time he was standing behind me in a queue-
still wonder how he managed to take that gruesome revenge, as i had straight C's in every mathematical genre that year apart from statistics...
many weird and bitter members of educational staff out there, wrecking their bile on innocent children...punishing them for their own disappointed dreams)

but mol, your scientific genious sounds qualitatively (as well as quantitatively) wonderful: we need more elephant-centric marrying of art and science! an expedition and exhibition to honour the diversity of nature...mr gore could do the introductional speech, then you could come on stage in elegant 1930's clothes and start a slideshow showing the golden ratio as unfolding inside giant mammal skeletons...it would be a roaring successs! i see it all clearly now...

5:53 pm  
Blogger Molly Bloom said...

There are *some* nice teachers out there, I promise. And well, I'd like to trace the tusky spirals - wouldn't you? I was actually feeling quite sad at that point as I saw a dead elephant out of the corner of my eye and the mother elephant was standing over the bones.I wasn't hallucinating...I was watching it on a documentary. The mother was sniffing and moving the bones with her lonely trunk. So that is where the idea came from. Oh, and of course, you mentioned those wonderful hypnotic spirals before on Doppelganger's blog. You see, I do listen. I am a good learner, non?

The best spirals come out of the Disney snake's eyes. Trusssst in meeeeeee.

Ah, the broken dreams of teachers. I eat those dreams for my tea. You just channel your dreams. And make small people's lives better in some small way. And then you come up here to play with words and ideas.

And then you sink into your bed, tired and weary.

9:51 pm  
Blogger Molly Bloom said...

I couldn't do Maths either. I used to make small spitty balls out of chewed up graph paper in Maths and throw them at the ceiling. There was a great golden circle up there by the end of my time at school.

9:53 pm  
Blogger the X said...

hehe...we've got an old saying here: "necessity learns naked woman how to spin" (i.e., weave herself some clothes)- much more fitting than the "mother of invention" variant you've got from the english, i always thought...not to underestimate them either, b-but...it has a certain ring to it.

we once had a literary student bar type event thingy, where they'd invited an american author who'd written a book seen from the perspective of an elephant- i.e. the elephant was the main character and narrator in the book...she had a lot of weird passages about shitting and the comfort of making a great big dump of elephant poo-

which made us giggle a bit, and also the extreme identification she (the author) seemed to have with elephants and animals in general...waxing lyrical about animal preservation and ecosystems etc...which of course is admirable in itself, enthusiasm and commitment to a pressing cause, but there is that peculiarly european sense of subtle sarcasm/ridicule towards anyone who haven't got an ironic distance towards their topic of interest, that whhich we here call "laughing inside the beard" (i.e. smiling a mean or hidden smile while pretending to be listening politely)
kind of sad in a way, because she had a lot to say, but her enthusiasm kept people from taking her seriously...which was a shame (but she did get loads of applause and people chatting to her afterwards, i feel a bit better to recall now)

yeah, "mister hiss" the snake in the robin hood (cartoon) film, how he rocked himself to sleep in his little cradle, in a cute pyjamas and tiny nightcap...and snoring with the tongue hisssssssss sss ssssing out and in of his mouth...weirdly wonderful and simply brilliant:
("trussssst mee, sssss sssss ssss")

7:35 pm  
Blogger the X said...

kek- sorry, yeah i'll get back to you!

rapidly diminishing hours of daylight in the northern fog seems to slowly dull the senses...d'oh!

9:25 pm  
Blogger Molly Bloom said...

I should imagine that passing an elephant sized piece of dung might be quite painful.

When people thing animals are human...that can sometimes seem a bit odd. Like when documentaries create 'stories' for the 'characters'. That Siamese cat in the 'Amazing Journey' film always seemed to know exactly what was going on. Always elegant and poised. Not like the dogs, they were just like Tom Cruise, bigging it up for the cameras. That cat had style. Perhaps she really *was* human in a strange kind of way.

I know...I've just contradicted myself entirely...but that cat was special.

And those cats on Refried's blog - they look like they know what they're about.

A story from an elephant's perspective. Anthropomorphic fun I'd say. Did it ever get published?

4:28 pm  
Blogger Molly Bloom said...

I didn't mean 'thing' I meant 'think' - it's that snake in the kitchen...I just looked into his eyesssss and ssssssomething happppppened........ssssssssssssss

What would it be like to be a ssssnake? I wouldn't mind being able to do that thing with my jaw and swallow a rabbit whole. That would certainly break the ice at parties.


And poisonous saliva might be useful on occasion.

4:30 pm  

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